When People are Clutter

Sometimes the people we want to love the most can become so prickly, it begins to feel as weighed down as physical clutter. Here is a gentle way to release it and renew yourself from feeling bad.

Clutter in any form feels weighted, constricting and toxic. It is often the source of stress, loss of money and even chronic illness. When we do not deal with the clutter in our lives, it will inevitably create chaos in one form or another.

But most importantly, it feels bad.

What happens when we are faced with a friend or relative who makes us feel this way? It can become the same scenario as when we brush off the clutter in our homes. We try to ignore it, but every time we look at it, we’re reminded of how those things no longer serve us. When it piles up, we become aggravated and stressed out. We feel hurt when it doesn’t love us back.

I was recently faced with this unfortunate experience, and it forced me to examine why this was popping up in my life when everything else felt so good.  The four things I took away from it were life-changing…


Declare How You Want To Feel

You don’t want to feel the weight and constriction of this energy, so get crystal clear about where this relationship has taken you. If it’s anywhere but in the realm of light and love, then it may be time to pull the brake. And if this isn’t your first rodeo with this person, then it’s definitely time to make a change.  What did Einstein say about doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result? Yep – it’s insane to think that your feelings will change after being their victim time and time again.


Sorting It Out 

By putting deep thought into why they make you feel bad, and even having a discussion with someone close who can help you sort out the relationship, you can come to terms with how it got this way. It’s not personal, and it might take a while to recognize that it is happening because it is something inside of them, and not you. When you turn within and remember your values, you can see clearly that you are no longer in the same vibration, and it is not your responsibility to make them understand. However, it is your responsibility to live in your own truth. Just like dealing with physical clutter, sorting is the first step to deciding if it is worth keeping or needs to be purged.


What Can You Learn From This?

I truly believe that we are in existence at this exact time to grow in our awareness. What we learn from our mistakes, from negative people who suck the life out of us, from failed relationships, from careers that did not fit our zone of genius… is the true meaning of life. It’s not always the outcome we should strive for, but the process in which we took to achieve it. How we deal with physical clutter or people clutter, can either make our lives full of ease and joy, or make life stressful and unbalanced. Sometimes when you have moved to a higher plane of consciousness, others don’t understand because they fear the unknown.  When something escalates to the point where your planes no longer meet, moving on in our own joy is the brave thing to do.


Be Gracious and Let It Go

What is my most important rule in clutter-clearing? If it doesn’t make me feel good, I release it. Releasing is a huge part of growth in one’s life experience. And it is okay to grow apart, even from family. Whether you grow together or apart, you are still growing, and being family doesn’t mean you are bound by blood forever and ever when the other person continues to make you feel bad. You can quietly slide out of their life in a gracious, loving way and leave the hurt behind.


How do you renew yourself after releasing painful stuff, people, experiences? Be kind to yourself. Trust that your heart has done the right thing. Visualize living your life without that pain or difficulty in it. Take a salt bath and do some deep-breathing exercises. It may take some time to heal, but your life will be more abundant because of the effort you are willing to put into quality people, places and things.




Renee Weatherford

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